one stop to heaven

i’m a bitch, probably the most horrendous selfish and violent girl you’ve ever known. if you know me, too bad. HUR. i have a mind of my own, something that’s been stubborn for long  and i’m sorry for the many reckless decisions i’ve made so far. certain perspectives made me lose my way. i couldnt see things from the other way. when you let me fall, i’ll fall beneath my shadow. my shadow where i wont be recovered again. how long more am i stuck behind this smokescreen, as if suffocating in my own expectations at the same time. what happens, when you find no answer at all. please advise.

i’ve been abandoned. in this world full of deception. so warped that i could hardly breathe. i could die.

life is so unpredictable. tell me what’s in for me.show it to me.

back from viet. wrote a few days of experiences. from viet, i’ve fallen in love with dilmah strawberry tea. inspiration brought me to buying this really cute set of teapot from viet, just to make strawberry tea! and yes, i’ll enjoy my strawberry tea in my cute teacups under the moon and stars with bf soon. viet is nothing abt shopping but stuff are really cheap there! any sporeans can become a millionaire there! hahahah and everyone will worship you hurray. kidding. the traffic is horrendous cause the motorbikes are like mafia gangs trying to bang you down. anw we rented bikes too but only at less crowded places for safety reasons. we visited many places in viet, hadnt have much of homesick and i was craving for hokkien mee milo and green tea throughout the journey. we even totalled up the travelling hours from 16 days and it’s 52 hours in total. tts more than 2 days hahaha.

there was a day in hoi an we were really down on our luck. unfortunate events: dict’s bike low on batt, rushing to return bikes, dict’s bike couldnt start, got lost in vietnam, then lost chuanting!, dict’s bike no petrol. it was damn scary. hoi an is a great place by the way, laidback lifestyle and they have custom made cheongsum at affordable prices! really oriental and pretty!

bf’s snake wine got confiscated at the airport hohoho. so sad. but anyywayyyyy, i have so many plans i feel so lazy now. oh and i bought this explicitly homo serial, the L word. hahahha they totally give me the les vibes (: and he thinks i should stop watching before i really become one! (: basically, viet is awesome partly cause of the people too. we pretty much slept alot. and i’d go back again someday!

i realise, so far, from all kinds of walks of life, i’ve been so immature. my thinking, my actions and the way i handle things is way wrong. i know it and yet i still did it. a friend told me something like, dont think abt the past, cause the more you think the more you feel that you’ve made a wrong choice. think about things you can change instead. the future. i’m really glad for the advice. thanks dear friend. you’ve done a great deal of help here. we should just stand strong, brave each storm together. even though we all stand in different positions, i’m sure there’s always a way out. there gotta be a loophole cause this is what’s planned for us (: something we should learn from, each mistake we make, each fall we had.

anyways, i’ll be off to vietnam from 18may to 2nd june! mega long trip, i think i most prolly get homesick!hahaha and i’m gonna be pathetic to check my results there ): if i fail, i’m gonna marry a husband there and row a sampan with him! all in all, take care everyone even though idk who’s reading this hahaha. oh, and ‘m on my way to planning exciting stuff after i come back/ this weekend pretty (: abt getting things done. yay so much for the last. hahaha ohwell, you’re so irresistable /:

most of the time, i’ve been wondering. why the sun so bright, why the moon so shy. and now, i wonder where the hell all my friends disappeared to. i almost died.died.died. ): i need some retail therapy or, some fun. whether budgetted or not, i need to get crazy and high (on air!). i need to maintain that level of comfort forever..i feel so boring, my life’s a thrash. ‘m losing myself actually, that’s why idk why i’m so unhappy with many stuff either. i dont know how to explain. ohwell, vietnam soon. i’m not exactly excited but yea, i hope everything will go fine. my friends asked to go drinking.hahaha omg how shocking ’cause i dont drink. yes omgz. crazy friends i have now.  meanwhile, i’m gonna think of plans. i need to get inspired again (:

for you, i guess everything’s just worth it.

what is love..

(more…)

& i’m back at the crosswords all over again.

building sandcastle is the joy of anyone’s life, destroying it definitely breaks one’s heart. fuck.

omg i just did something i almost got a heart attack. i wrote a post and saved it as a draft but i thought it was being published! but….nah, hahahaha it wasnt. phewz.

anyway, ):

i feel so nuaish plus moodish hahaha

editted//

anyway, since i’m so bored. and someone kept leaving the stupid game even without completing it or when i was abt to win the game, that idiot will screw something up. as that person is still screwing e game up, i will type nonsense here.

let’s see, i m supposed to meet – at 11am, but nah i told them 12pm, and jon told me i’ll wake up at 12 instead and tadahh, he struck the words. i woke up at 12 i reached tamp like amost 2pm. hahaha but we finished it up pretty quick. then theeverohsosweet jon came down to tamp, we had late lunch and went to his place. damn shagged from playing scissors paper stone and i swear that guy cheated. so it’s not counted!

and tadah since it’s mother’s day the more i shouldnt skip the gathering at my beloved ahgong’s place. while his fam went haven’s grill at joo chiat, i went homesweethome. only to find that pearlyn didnt come-.- k, she cant be blamed ’cause she’s having her exams now. and omgz, jere that woman really sucks in math, i taught her some of her biz math stuff but basically it’s just some Amath thingy, which i thought it was Emath. and yea, i almost puked teaching her. i went home, and see sad oscar. hahhaa so i’ve decided to bring him over to jeff’s house! new envt,and meet people. jon and i waited for a cab for damn long, i almost died standing on the pavement. and this cab just went pass ’cause he saw oscar-.- but oops, he poo on jeff’s carpet within 10 mins there. hahaha and he kept chasing jeff idk why. now he’s sound asleep on this big big cushion in my study room idk why he doesnt wanna go to his own mattress instead. anyway he’s still spoilt, naughty and fat.

yea anyway was supposed to discuss abt viet stuff in jeff’s place, but i ended up entertaining myself and talking online to people. i’m so bored now i’m getting sick of life. but yay, i’m going to the zoo on tuesday. that’s damn boring i know but it’s like any other exciting thing to do in singapore. oh yeah, that’s why i’ll be away in vietnam for 2 whole weeks. miss me people. hahaha and because i’ll be away for 2 whole bloody weeks, i’m gonna miss my grandfather’s bday celebration and i’m very ): abt this. oh did i mention i want a new phone x1,hahaha i have a whole lot of expensive plans for me for the hols, but i bet it’s not gonna happen as usual. but yea omg diving, french classes etc. sigh.and i havent saved up for viet hahahaha. i’m gonna live on deficit soon man. omg i’m damn bored ive got no more nonsense to type. i can just die right now. chaoz.

jon is the horniest bitch in the world. he gets turned on when he sees girls in bikini and feels damn good when he sees girls’ tits OMG. hahahahahahahahaha